dear american idol producers,
it is with great excitement and expectancy that i would like to throw my hat in the running to be the 4th judge on american idol. sure, i don’t have the “professional” experience that some of the other judges have, but this is exactly what gives me an edge. i know that you are already starting the search to fill her seat, so let me tell you what you need.
randy, simon and kara all have an abrasive edge to them. i think this is good for the contestants, they should know what it is like to face real criticism in the business. i bring a lighter, happier feel that will balance out the table. i am not looking to crush anyone’s dream. i am going to make dreams a reality on the show. just the right people’s dreams. i mean, seriously, sanjaya? really, guys? really? not on my watch.
i will also add new, creative blood to the mix. here is what i’m thinking: pair each of the finalists with someone in the industry to mentor them throughout the show. ryan, i love what you have done in your role. after so many years though, you might want switch things up. why don’t you repel in from the roof? ride in on a hover board? or saddle up on ruben studdard and have him gallop in on the gentle giant? people pay big money for this kind of stuff, guys.
speaking about buying things, i’m cheap. i know you are paying everyone else millions of dollars to work for about 6-7 months out of the year. give me 1 million for the year and i’ll be happy about it. think about all the press i would generate, “from a nobody to an idol of idols,” “man from palm beach, fl makes a splash on idol. producers see ratings soar and endorsements roll in.” just think about the possibilities! i am a relatable “everyman” type of guy. i could be your friend, your brother, your sharp tounged, quick witted co-worker. the talk shows would be all over it. i’m totally down to do all the press you would like me to. seriously, will do the today show, regis & kelly, conan, jay leno….i would even go to the view. those cougs would LOVE me! i have a total way with middle age women, they are totally my target demographic.
i know that i said that i don’t have a “professional” entertainment background, but don’t get me wrong, i’m good. you are welcome to peruse my blog for some hilariously entertaining video blogs. you should also know that i am a member of the dream team. all that you need to know about that is that it is dreamy. i was a thespian in high school, i had a stamped certificate and everything. if you need me to ham it up for tv or do anything crazy, i definitely have the acting chops to make it believable.
i don’t want take anymore of your time, but i know that i am the right person for this job. i believe in this show; kelly and carrie are two of my favorite artists (by the way, do you guys have any pull in getting kelly a personal trainer?). life is full of risks. i know that choosing me is a risk, but know that you will not be disappointed.
your next idol judge,
chad vaughan

